Amendment to "What?!"

God is here. I started to write God is there but it came out "here" instead. I don't think that was a mistake. After writing I went to Eric and talked with him. He did not say anything. I learned from this: stop trying to get something from him he cannot give you. If you want to talk, do it, communication is good and essential, but stop expecting him to give you answers that he does not have. It doesn't mean he is a bad husband, not helpful or that he does not care or love you. In other words, just stop it! The other thing that happened is that Vicki called me on my way to take Erica to school. The adversary had me convinced that she was shutting me out, was angry with me, I had screwed up etc. None of the above, she has had sick parents, is getting ready to leave the country for a month, and a host of other things. We talked and have a plan to meet tomorrow. What I learned from this: ask questions before making assumptions. Next I did a session with Chris. I learned a lot from this which I will expound on in a minute but, in general I learned: 1.Whenever I feel like I need a session with Chris, do it! 2. One of the reasons is sometimes I just need someone else to do the session. And every time I do a session with Chris, she has something else to teach me. Something important about myself, clearing and life in general. Something Father wants me to know. Cosmic. 
This is what today's session had to offer:
Hidden and trapped emotions are tied to a heart wall.  Always clear this. The PF can change just by clearing the emotions, closing portals and receiving columns of light. I talked to Chris about my confidence lately. And how I feel like everything that comes out of my mouth is awkward, stupid, and I just cringe afterwards and wish I hadn't said anything at all. She said that is exactly the same thing that happens to her. Then she said, "My words mean something. And when my confidence leaves I don't speak. And that is the adversary. And the same thing is happening to you." She also said this is something I will continue to deal with. When she saw the amount of portals I needed closed, and columns of light I needed she said, "you are at war." She said to overcome the self-confidence issues (and others of course) Have a constant prayer in my heart, Be aware, and call upon the Savior. And she gave me a formula. 1 prayer, 2. clear out my bubble, 3. close it down, 4. and close with prayer. I also shared the total devastation I feel when others are hurting. The deaths of Chris' son, and Erika's dad have hurt so much I almost can't function. She said it is a gift of being able to feel what others feel. I know this is true. I have to be very careful of the books I read and movies I watch because it affects me so much. Especially if they are non-fiction, but fiction too. 
I also talked to her about anxiety. She said souls on the other side are anxiety ridden. Command them away. Ask angels to do battle for you. 
We also talked about reading the Book of Mormon early and first thing. What I have noticed is that my scripture study becomes diluted the longer I wait in the day. 
Chris suggested that I make a concentrated effort for two weeks to clear issues of money. To be able to be stable and happy whether it comes in or not. 
Also, to pray about a blessing. Get very specific about what I want and need and then ask Eric to administer it. 
Prayer: She suggested that when we fold our arms for prayer it is shutting us off from the spirit. And also bowing our head. She said, "open your palms, look up to Him, see Him, and keep your arms open and then pray." This is an interesting concept.
I cannot express the light feeling I felt when I was done. I felt that someone understood me, that I learned more about sessions, and had some direction and tools to help me.