Ted's moving

Just when I thought it was safe to come back out into public Tedi is moving and I have lost control of my emotions all over again. All I can think of today is I want to call and tell Phil she is moving. I know talking to him would have helped. Sigh.  Two hits in a row and I am not coping well. Ah well, this is life in all of its guts and glory. I would rather have six kids and all the love and wonder and have them move away, then never to have had them at all.

I think the problem is that both Phil and Tedi have been such steady constants in my life. And the fear that I have not built a sufficient relationship with Ted since her marriage so that we will see her again. Like Zack. Ted makes the third of the three oldest to move. 

On the way to work I was feeling really bad and I saw this waterfall/fountain thing at one of the businesses off the freeway.  Instantly I felt relief. I have to get to the water. Whatever that means. I just have to. Something keeps telling me, that is where I will find healing and relief.